Body Image

Good body image is something I have always struggled with. There have always been things that I have been self conscious about on my body, namely my thighs and stomach. As I get older, and my body takes on a more womanly shape, I'm beginning to understand why women obsess over every part of their body. Suddenly I'm more self conscious about my arms and back, my neck/chin, and my chest. I thought as I grew older I was supposed to naturally come to peace with my body, and I would be a confident woman in her twenties, but it's just the opposite. I feel like I almost spend more time obsessing about my body now then when I was a self-conscious teenager. Sure, I know how to dress my body now and I can understand that there are some body types out there that just aren't attainable, but that doesn't stop me from doing a side profile look in the mirror every morning so I can carefully examine the bumps curves and divots of my body.

What is healthy body image though? I've seen the "curvy" women and the "bony" girls each proclaiming confidently that they love their body. I've seen the Dove commercials, but in the back of my head I have always been skeptical. How could these women truly love every part of themselves? They must be lying! After all, if you have to go on TV or make a brand about how much you love yourself, it seemed like these women had to be trying to prove something to themselves. But that's where I think I'm wrong. I think it is possible to love your body unconditionally, I just don't think I'm there yet.

We read about beauty magazines making us feel ugly and the manipulations of Photoshop giving us an unattainable reality, but I'm not sure how much of that has shaped how I feel. I look at a picture of a pro female surfer like Laura Enever and see exactly how I would want my body to look: slender, long legs, toned stomach and arms, tan skin, vibrant personality.

Laura Enever

But her body can do amazing things. It's not just that she looks great in clothes and swimsuits, I see a body that is fit. It's a body that I find attractive because it is a body that is strong and with strength I assume it is healthy. But is it bad to want a body like Laura's? Is it wrong?

I'm unhappy with parts of my body now, yes because how it looks, but also because it can't do all the things I want it to. It doesn't have the core strength to hold crow, or the agility to be a pro surfer, or the flexibility of a ballerina, but I know I can work on those things and it could do those things. I acknowledge that I am lucky to be healthy and able-bodied and there are millions of things that I am thankful that my body can do and if I want it to do other things then, in the words of Britney Spears I "better work, bitch."  But my question is, is it wrong to strive for a more "fit" looking body that can do fit things? Or should I be happy with the body I have, and any other feelings are just "bad body image?"

What I do know is that I need to start accepting myself more, if not my body itself as it is, then the journey I am taking to get there.