Balance

I've always struggled with balance in my life. When I get involved or interested in something I tend to shift too far in one direction and end up shifting to the other direction in a constant fight to be in the middle, a perfect medium, of the two. For example, exercising: I will go on a big kick where all I can think about it exercise and trying new exercises and working out every day! And I'll do that for a few weeks and then I'll burn myself out, not workout for a couple of days or even a week or two and then I'll be really hard on myself. I lack balance.

I get so excited about adding something new into my life and making room for it, that I push all other things aside. I'm always teetering between one extreme or another. I wish I could say that I worked out every day, no problem. Or that eating healthy was simply my way of life (why are cake and potato chips soooo good?). And that I always have time to volunteer, and read, and take online courses, and cook dinner, and spend time with my boyfriend, and hang out with friends, and and and... But that's just not the way my life is. I have to schedule things (even with myself) and sometimes I break those appointments.

What I really need to focus on is balancing my thoughts. I need to accept that it's OKAY if I miss a workout sometimes, but it's NOT OKAY if missing those workouts starts to affect how I feel about myself. I need to figure out the difference between needing a rest day and not challenging myself enough. I need to realize that building habits takes a lot longer that 21 days sometimes, and that sometimes, the fact that I'm trying needs to be enough. But I know that changing the way I think about things will take a lot of time. For now, I'm just happy that I seem to finally be adopting a schedule and goals that feel attainable, though I still have a long way to go.