Running and I have a love/hate relationship. I've been running for 9 years now with few breaks until last year. Last year, while training for the Philadelphia Marathon (and doing a crappy job of it) I injured my back. I was unable to run the marathon, and I took a hiatus from running. Honestly though, I was relieved when I got injured because somewhere among the pressures of training mixed with looming long runs, and a deeply seeded feeling of just being too slow, running had stopped being fun. It had stopped being the thing I depended on, the thing that got me through the day, and the thing that made me feel good about myself. When I took my break I vowed that I wouldn't return to running until I enjoyed it again. Two months ago, I started running again.
But for me, loving running has never come easily. Instead I found that there are stages along the way:
Running feels terrible. You know it should feel great, and you should glide easily along, but it's just not that simple. Instead it hurts your shins, it makes walking up stairs impossible (I've walked sideways and backwards up many a staircase), and it makes your face so red people think you're going to pass out. Running sucks.
You begin to respect the sport. You respect the camaraderie, the tenacity, and the mindfulness it has given you. You realize you can run farther than before, longer than before and it makes you feel stronger.
You start to look forward to a run after a frustrating day, or maybe you long for the alone time it gives you in the stillness of the morning. You start to feel like you're a part of something. You begin to realize that you're a runner.
Running has taken you to places you've never been before, and it makes you look at things differently. You're more connected to your body and nature. Running is second nature to you. You imagine yourself growing old with running. You'll be one of those 80 year olds running their 100th marathon. Running gets you.
Right now, I'm somewhere between respecting running and liking running. It's still hard to get out the door and run some-most days. I'm trying to only do it when I want to do it. Have you experienced these phases? Where are you?
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